Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It went something like this:


Our pool side drink Absoult Los Angeles [yummy fruity flavor], Diet Squirt and St. Germain. I managed to pack all the alcohol but forgot to pack my clothes hummm imagine that! A quicky run to Target solved that pretty well actually.

pool. we were there all day

me and SGM stuck with SPF 70. Decorno and I Could Kill Her stayed with 30

We watched a little tv and waited for the taxi to come get us here. Then we went to the Viceroy and had very chic drinks by the pool. We're old we were back home by 11:30

The kitchen island became a tray of snacks and drinks. So many carbs so little time.

Then we came back and swam again

One night there was a little bubbly. I think that was the down fall of the radio show actually.

Returning from the Viceroy, Decorno told the taxi cab driver when he asked which house "The Gay One!!!" [she didn't remember that part]

Just in case, keep a bed side snack handy.

The photos really tell the story but all of us had such a great time. Our blind date was a huge hit. It was a great mix of people and we're planning another meet up. I'll let the other girls do the recap of conversations and discussions. I don't think anything was left unturned really or too taboo to discuss.

but It looked a little like this

We decided not to post photos of ourselves in Palm Springs but I wanted to give you an idea of what it looked like

SGM sort of looks like Nicole Kidman minus the freaky amounts of botox and the crazy ex-husband.

Decorno was a little vixen! SGM and I decided she had the most game of any woman we have ever met. She was especially hilarious with the taxi cab drivers to and from the bar.

Elaine from I Could Kill reminded me of Debra Messing except with blonde hair. We also decided she has the tushie of the Gerber Baby.

And because I want to be her for just one second The actress playing me today is Anne Hathaway in Marchesa if you must. Actually, since I'm picking my moment...can I have it be in about a year when she gets over her horrible ex-boyfriend, yes I think it can!


But I can't tell a lie it wasn't all glamour all the time...There was a little bit of this..

And maybe a little of this...

And possibly one moment of this, but it was none of our faults...it was the Viceroy's fault. Yah! they served us really yummy drinks and kept coming out to check on us at the pool on the giant bed. It was horrible of them really.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Grammie feels a little like the "Donger"

I didn't wake up on a lawn, but it sure feels like I could sleep on one. reports of our big fun soon.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Palm Springs or Bust

Me, Decorno, I Could Kill Her and Scented Glossy Magazines are off starting Friday am to this place.

Our blind date weekend. Early bets have SGM making out with Decorno. The girls have mentioned that a nude photo will probably slip through the cracks somewhere. Good thing I'm the most notable photographer! I'm a little afraid that I might have under-estimated the damage that could be done in 48 hrs. Lord Jeezus help me.

I didn't get my nickname 'gramma' for being a good drinker.

see ya on monday with tales in drinking and sunning.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

An open letter to JCrew

Dearest JCrew,

I love you and hate you JCrew. You continue to make the cutest clothes ever but you are getting really expensive. I applaud this whole "finest quality" thing you're doing. It's really great. I'm so down with artisans and old world quality and style. I'm a classics girl - I get it. The shoes and bags you're doing... spectacular, really. The purple cashmere coat that would look so amazing on me for $1800 f*ing fantastic.

But I'm ready to make you a deal. I'll totally give up a few of my catalogs lets say 3 or 4...a year and in return you can reduce the prices by say 25% on most everything? I think it's a great trade actually, here's why: I know my fair share about production and printing costs so I can tell you that you probably spend somewhere in the neighborhood of the following:

PRINTING • I know that you probably web press your catalogs with a price tag of a few hundred thousand dollars per run. Lets call it 275k with change orders.
PHOTOGRAPHER• and you hire a photographer at 5-8k a day and he has a couple of assistants say at $400 a day each.
STUDIO FEES• If you're in the studio then you have the studio fees lets call those $1500 a day and you shoot a lot of pieces, so you're probably there for 5-7 days so that's another 10k.
ON LOCATION• If you're on location in one of your European cities you'll have flights for everyone as well as permit costs, tack on another 300k for all of that.
PHOTOG'S RENTALS • and the photogs lighting and digital package lets call that 15k for that many days. I might have been generous with that number by the way.
TALENT COSTS• then you have models and it's national advertising so those girls are probably 3-4k a day at a minimum don't forget their travel costs $1000 a piece to fly them in locally for studio work and then they will get a full day's rate on the front and back of the shoot for travel so add in 2 more days and a per Diem. So lets call that 5k per day per girl, you average about 4-6 girls per book. So 150k for talent. That's for a local shoot.
HAIR AND MAKEUP• a couple of makeup and hair people say at $600 a day each
STYLISTS WITH ASSISTANTS• a stylist with a couple of assistants so lets put that group at 2k a day, if in Europe you'll need a prop person too I think, lets get someone local though.Possibly he or she can translate for us an save a few bucks. This person only wants to be paid in Euros though so it's $800 American dollars per day on that one. Don't tell the stylists though, they'll be pissed this ass-wipe is getting paid more than them doing half the work.
PRODUCER • and a producer at $750 a day and he or she will need to be on the job for a week+ for studio work, or if you're in Europe give him or her 3 weeks pre shoot and one week post to sort through billing. They'll need at least one assistant while we're at it, 2 in Europe. That will put you about 45k+ for production.
HOTELS AND RENTAL CARS• and possibly hotels for the photog and his crew and a couple of the clients if you're in the studio so that's 25k+ in hotels and transport charges.
FOOD AND CATERING• If you're in the studio you'll probably have a kraft services person on staff because you're JCrew and studio days are long-ass days $1500 per day. On location you'll go out for a fantastic dinner so that's a 3k tab with a few bottles of wine per night.
ASSISTANTS • and a couple of P.A's at $250 a day because I'm being generous and errands need to be run.
THE FLUFF POT • I'm sure I forgot some things here so lets tack on another 20k just to grease palms on location. Those Europeans, they'll want a little cash.
That's all for one season or 1/2 depending on if you do location and studio work.

Yes, I know you reuse those images for a whole season and you're doing an AWESOME job branding your wares lately, really nice but you print 3 or so catalogs with some of the same images and that's about 250-275k worth of printing per catalog, not to mention the flat rate shipping costs on books that size. If I give up, say, one book every quarter, I'm saving you over a million dollars [with postage] per year. And then if I give up the European shoots [Italy was my fav by the way, the one with the Vespa on the cover] we could save another probably...500k maybe more. Amazing things can be created in the studio. I think it would be swell really, you could lower your costs just a tad, you know... our economy and such... and then you could tell everyone you're being "environmental" and using less trees all in the name of "conservation". Your customer base will totally be down with it, I'm sure they're all "greening-the-shit-out-of-something" everyone is these days. In return, I promise to save every catalog until the next one arrives.

Or even better... do a special digital mag. I love to "research at work" I'll be happy to flip through every. single. last. page. Call up CB2, they've already got the back end coding built for it they do that shit all the time now. I'm sure they would be happy to sell it to you for a small fee.

All my love,

JCrew's new catalog is out by the way. The vintage flowers they have on sweaters and jackets are so sweet but they're not yet up on the website I'm sure they'll be a lovely $$. Did I mention the pale pink pointed flats with a wee bit of heel? heavenly $168 not up yet either. The quilted purple quincy hobo $298 Shut up! it's so cute.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Because I don't have anything better than this

I've mentioned before how much I like this woman, she probably makes me cry at my desk a minimum of once a week. Her post today did just that and more. I don't have anything to say that is better than this...please go read. "Made"

But the ones below it are as hilarious...such as More Bad Words which my good friend April will appreciate [Hi April!]. or The S word which is so elegantly explained to her children about waiting for the magic...that I'm tucking that little phrase in my back pocket for my own little people.

I lifted this image from her site as well. Might as well steal with both hands while I'm at it! She says its possibly from We Heart It

Sunday, September 21, 2008

New In the studio - The botanical print

I was commissioned by a friend to do a botanical print for her new baby's room. I did some prints for her first daughter as well. This time the baby's room is in greens and aquas and she asked me to come up with a botanical print to suit.

The flower is a linoleum cut and I hand mixed and brayered the ink on the plate so that the blues and greens would still be a little separated, to mimic the color of water. Once I produced a number of the prints, I suggested we do a series of them together, raised slightly from the back of the frame. It turned out so pretty, I'm a little sad I'm selling it to be honest. Right now it's living on my mantel until I can deliver it to her in a couple weeks.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Let's play who needs an evening gown...

I subscribe on email to all sorts of wacky crap. I need to be in the know [or so my rational is] so I get daily emails, well, just about from everyone fashion or style related these days. One of the regulars that I never seem to be interested in is a group called HauteLook that does on-line sales of higher end clothes. Sort of a fashion version of ebay if you would.

So today they're selling from Decades Two, one of the super chic high end boutiques that deals in vintage wares. Rachael Zoe is a regular as you may have seen from her show. So I click over to see what's up and all these lovely ball gowns like this little Christian Dior [below] which sold for [what I thought] was very reasonable $1100 [originally $3500].

So here are my top three in case you're going to a cocktail party, or the emmy's this weekend you darling girls.

or maybe this lovely Marchesa who I've been loving lately. originally $4500 now $2200 [uh, steal!]

Reem Acra originally $2640 now $1000.00

You have to register at HauteLook to see them go sign up quickly most of the sales expire in 24 hours from this posting.


We have a running joke in my house, well it's mostly my joke about my boyfriend. He has come to grips with it but initially he wasn't so keen to learn he sucks at multi-tasking. He's an all or nothing sort of guy. I can mostly appreciate it, he is good at whatever he's working at in the moment. Surfing, great - diligent gets up at 5am to drive to Timbuktu. Golf, he buys a book learns to swing. School, he works his ass off in pre-med and gets a 4.0. You get the point. So one day, this was a year or two ago, I was aggravated with him probably that he wasn't paying enough attention to me [the school thing most likely] and I announced at the dinner table that I understood [ok, kind of lying] about whatever I was asking about because he wasn't good at multi-tasking.

What? he said, I am too good at multi-tasking! Um...no honey, I'm sorry to say that, that is one thing you can't do. He sort of moped about it for a few days and whenever I would ask him to do something he would come back with "well, I can't right now because I can't multi-task". He finally agreed a few weeks later after thinking about it that I'm right [duhh, women are always right]. He even announced it to a co-worker one day who was chatting with him while he was entering patient information and she asked him something and he didn't respond. He said "well, according to my girlfriend I can't multitask" she laughed and went on her way.

The other night I got a call from him:

Him: Hi honey,
Me: Hi what are you doing?
Him: Well, if you must know I'm multitasking.
Me: really? what are you doing?
Him: Well, I'm talking to you and putting a load of laundry in.
Me: Well now, isn't that impressive.
Him: Yes, sirrie doing both at the same time.
Me: Now, if we can get you to go to school and propose to me - now that would be impressive.
Him: Whoo, now baby steps, I don't think I'm up to that level yet.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Project Runway finalist

I won't give it up who it is, but this is one of the finalists from Project Runway. I would totally wear this. Of course, it would require losing 40lb to look like that in it... but who's counting.

Hand Job

Hand Job
A Catalog of Type
by Michael Perry

Yes, I thought that title would get your attention. This design book came out a bit ago but I just decided about a week ago that I'm in love with hand drawn type so I went out and picked it up tonight for inspiration.

I have an idea for an upcoming project, I always have an idea for an upcoming project. It's my blessing and my curse sadly. So many ideas so little time.

I don't have any words for this really

"According to the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman, Sarah Palin, during her tenure as mayor of Wasilla, approved a policy to deny free forensic examinations for sexual assault victims."

"The average citizen would likely agree that law enforcement agencies should spare no expense in investigating sexual assault cases, including finding out, via rape kit, whether or not a sexual assault actually happened. Demanding that a person pay for her own kit–which can cost anywhere from $400 to over $1,000–significantly reduces the odds that she’ll get tested, which in turn reduces the odds that police will find the culprit and that prosecutors will be able to make the charges stick."

via> Washington City Paper

Monday, September 15, 2008

Don't. Do. It

Please, no acid wash, no pleats in jeans I'm begging you. Don't. Do. It.
it was so bad the first time around.

Top Shop Unique [British version of H&M] jean showing from London's Fashion Week
via> Style.com

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Tina Fey as Sara Palin

If you missed Tina Fey's performance as Sara Palin on Saturday Night Live you really need to see it. She even nails her voice. Perfect parody [and a whole lot of truth]

Click Here to see it

I can recommend...

So I've been testing some products for all of you. Yes, in the duty that has become mine, I've let myself be a Guinea pig for you so that you all may benefit from my ummm...experience. In the vein of SGM who will be heading Bravo shortly, I don't know how I don't work in Clarins's corporate offices yet or possibly run the company. I'll learn French later, I swear.

Bright Plus HP
Clarins daily brightening lotion with SPF 20. I wasn't sure I was going to notice anything with this product but about 6 weeks into it and I really noticed my skin tone more even and less pigment issues, freckles decreased. Very impressed with the results. Anything that does double duty [lightening and SPF] is way OK in my book $$57
*they have a little gift set right now same price for the solo product that also has two other brightening treatments in it.
great deal.

Younger Longer Balm
New to the Clarins line I received a couple of samples the last round of purchases I made. The name made me balk a bit, whatever...younger, longer yah. I have no idea what's in this stuff but I want to drink the whole bottle. A notable difference overnight in tone and appearance. It's recommended to use only every other night with no other products - apparently it's that strong. I finally plopped down my $$$ for a full tube but I decided to use it for a couple days in a row. I mean, if a little bit is good, a lot must be great right? Don't ask the price, it's ugly...just buy it and thank me later. $$$$

Lisse Minute Base "The best Spackle you'll ever have".

I think I might have mentioned this product before in a review but it deserves a second nod in case you weren't paying attention. Again, I don't know what's in it - but who cares. I Want to rub it all over my body. It's suppose to be used in the eye area as a makeup primer. It reduces lines and pores instantly. Again, I'm of the thought more is better when it comes to skin care and I have used it all over my face as an all over primer. Awesome. application note* Let it settle on the skin a few minutes before applying makeup though, otherwise things tend to slide around. I opt to prep my face with my day lotion and this stuff, blow dry my hair then go back to makeup. $28

Your dutiful Guinea pig signing off.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Looking forward to...

Two of my favorite singer songwriters have new cd's out next month, and are touring for them. I splurged and got tickets to both.

Rachael Yamagata releases October 7th This song Elephants is from her new release. Someone must have got ahold of the single early and done a little home you tube.

Ray Lamontagne

His first single on itunes is out "you are the best thing" which reminds me of old Marvin Gaye. Looking forward to both.
CD releases October 14. This is song Jolene is from a previous release.

Barbara Kruger

I was thinking about the artwork of Barbara Kruger today and thinking how timely it still is, especially in this time of politics and culture. If you're too young to recall her work or don't know of her, you can see more of it on her site.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Behind the scenes

Behind the scenes at NYC Fashion week

This woman was born with style. She wakes up looking that good I'm sure of it.

a bold lip, a fantastic scarf and noteworthy shoes - all a girl needs [course looking like that doesn't hurt]

possibly. the. most. perfect. outfit. ever.
effortlessly chic

photo credit: Scott Schuman aka the Satorialist for Style.com
behind the scenes of NYC Fashion Week

Fashion Week

If I had time to go to Style.com and check up on what's happening at Fashion Week in NYC right now, I would tell you that this rocks, but I don't, so instead go check out one of my fav's in fashion reporting Love Made Visable, which is also a fantastic description of anything design related. She makes it all nice, tidy and pretty.

image from LMV > Jason Wu's Spring 08 Collection.

Monday, September 08, 2008

"Don't piss off the mean lady again"

this was labeled "he had cramps" on flickr. about the same seriousness as the kid I yelled at

Mom: Hello

Me: Hey Mom, just called to tell you a funny story. I'm officially old and I've officially become you.

Mom: uh oh. What happened?

Me: Well I was at Target tonight and there was this teenager on one of those disabled scooter-cart things. I ignored him at first but after the second time he crashed into a display I yelled "Where is your mother?" The kid said "Hu?", "I said, where is your mother?"

Just then this giant white trash woman wearing a polyester shirt waddled around the corner and said "what's wrong?" I said "is he suppose to be in one of those things?" She said [defensively] "well, he just sprained his ankle." I said "well, whatever, he's already crashed into two displays"- and I walked away. She yelled at her son and moved on.

So I went along my way, finished my shopping and when I'm ready to leave I'm heading out the door and the littlest of the three fat kids she had with her [about 7] was standing in the middle of the exit. So I stopped, he moved and Just then I could hear the mom behind me say "Johnny, get out of the mean lady's way. She'll yell at you too." Loud enough for me to hear. I ignored it and then she said "She's obviously had a bad day" so I turned around and gave her the dirtiest look I could throw.

Mom: Oh god, you can give a dirty look.

Me: Yes, I am very good at that and proud of it.

Mom: Yup, you've officially become me.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Dreaming about work

Work stress is a funny thing, it shows up in odd places for me, sometimes throwing me into panic attacks. I picked up my refill this week to keep me breathing in case of. This morning though it's in my sleep and dreams.

Nicky Hayden from this month's Men's Vogue

I suspect that none of you will know who this guy is. He's the Michael Phelps of the racing world: cute, fast and rich. They call him the "Kentucky Kid" and yes, the sweet southern drawl is there. Nicky Hayden is the MotoGP Champion of the world which means he races in Europe on his motorcycle and goes obscenely fast. I've never met him officially, but some of the work I do has involved images of him, I once shared a running track with him while at a convention weekend. He didn't notice me, but I can tell you he's short [job requirement for his work]
Nicky using one of the first vintage race bikes for photo op

Work is insane right now. The planning it takes to get some of our photoshoots done is crazy. Some days I really need an assistant to help me but we can't afford one. So here it is Sunday am and I'm reporting that my stress levels have hit an all time high as I woke up this morning in a panic about a dream that I had involving Nicky. I dreamt that it was my job to stop him in the pits as he was racing in the Championship Moto GP race and have him switch leathers mid-race so that we could get a better picture of him. My boss was yelling at me on the walkies to get him switched quickly. Let's just say that you don't take off a one piece leather suit that weighs 25 lbs easily. As you might expect this dream didn't work out so well, and I started emailing people at 7:45am this morning about undone issues that need to get solved. I'm officially panicked.

Puck [or knee] down is S.O.P all in a days work for these racers.

I work with crews of amazing people. Down to every tech and assistant I am always amazed at our finished product. Somehow it all works out. It always does - although I don't know how. By this Friday I will have packed close to 20k worth of wardrobe, gear about the size of someones giant living room, for one of the largest shoots, length wise, we've ever done. Lord help us all get it done. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's having work nightmares right now.

BTW. this shoot doesn't involve him if you're wondering-just cute, famous stress coming out in dreams. But if you're curious to see more of him check out September's Men's Vogue as he has a 6 page spread. They got him a good haircut and cleaned him up reeeeeeeeellly good.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Go big or go home

I drive past this house frequently on the way back from my client's. I'm always amazed at the commitment to yellow these folks have. I suspect there might be a royal blue or purple room lurking in that house.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

R.I.P Snoopy

Bill Melendez, the voice of Snoopy
and the animator of the Peanuts passed away Tuesday. I loved the peanuts. In fact I'm staring at a picture I drew when I was little, of Marcie my dad framed it for me for a birthday a couple of years ago.

Marcie is totally me

My brother when he was little. he didn't like to take a bath much. Let's hope for his wife's sake that's changed.

and the dog we all wanted to have. Snoopy

Thanks for Sunday Mornings with the funnies.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Muffin Tops and Cheese

At the end of this month I'm doing something insane. I swear I must be off my rocker. I'm having a full-blown blind date and not just a one nighter, like a whole weekend blind date! My friends and family reading this right now are spitting up their morning coffee and saying WHAT THE HELL? since I've been with my sweetheart now for 4 years. Chill out, it's not really what you think.

See back in March or April or something I did some work for a friend with a house in Palm Springs and as a trade he let me use it for the weekend. I struggled for a long time who I wanted to invite because I know all these amazing women. I sort of keep my friends in their respective groups and don't mingle them together much. I don't know why, I just do. So on one hand I want to invite all my daily girlies the ones that bring me a roll of toilet paper when I've thrown out my back and can't move. You know the kind. But then on the other hand I wanted to invite all these cool ass women that I'm friends with by blogging. I kept thinking about it. I finally asked the guy who owns the house, if I get all these women to help me promote your property will you let me have a second weekend with them? Sure, he said. So I contacted them [or the ones that live in the U.S [sorry girls who I've missed] and said here's the deal blah blah blah. We did our thing, I did a little more work for him helping him promote so he felt like he was getting his weekend's worth. We were set for the end of September.

It's now September and I'm about to have a blind date weekend with a group of amazing women SGM, I Could Kill Her, Maybe Decorno and JJ if they get the work thing figured out. They're all flying in, and I'm being a hostess. A hostess in a bikini. Now maybe I should mention here that between the kidney thing, the back, the neck, the crazy work load at the 9-5, the boyfriend moving, I've spent well....all of 2 min this summer doing any excercise. The scar that runs along the muffin top from the back surgery looks like a loaf of bread not a measly muffin.

we're going here! It's even more amazing than the photos. I can't wait for the damn "tanning shelf" you never have to get out of the pool!

I'm a little frightened about now it's just a couple weeks away, I'm going to be spending 3 days in a bikini and I just noticed I have arm cellulite [seriously, how does THAT happen?] So a couple weeks ago I saw this infomercial for the Malibu Pilates Machinewho's spokeswoman Susan Lucci from All My Children [and someone who has no body fat] and I've been obsessed ever since. I mean they PROMISE that I'll drop a size in 10 days!

I actually have done pilates and it does do amazing things for your body. I had better results with it than yoga and a personal trainer. Of course it helps to have someone over the top of you pushing you to do the excercise correctly too. So I don't know, I have my little pilates tapes upstairs but I really think THIS, THIS is the thing that will make it better.

HA! I just read the fine print that sucker costs $300 when all the payments add up. No way Jose! girls get ready for some cheese and I'm not talking gouda, because that's what's on my ass and probably staying there.

Hey, how's that "Abstinence Only" program workin for ya?

Hey there, how's that "abstincence only" program working out there for you? Yah, that's what I thought.

I might remind everyone that in the next four years, that our president may have the opportunity to nominate upwards of 4 Supreme Court Judges to The Court.

What if your daughter didn't have the right to choose for herself? Well, you could always force her into marrying the "baby-daddy" at 17 and see how well that works out, because we all know that that will make it ALL better.