Thursday, March 06, 2008

We interrupt this blog

For a horrible case of surprise PMS. I say surprise, because it's significantly early [over a week+]. I was wondering why I've eaten my body weight weight in chocolate chip cookie dough the past few days [Trader Joes makes lovely pre-lumped cookie dough in the freezer section should you be needing some].

I also have avoided conversations with most everyone since Sunday because A. The fact that anyone is breathing right now is annoying the f*ck out of me B. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears over things like: I haven't had a chance to paint my toes in 5 days [devastating] It was the last episode of Project Runway and I am already missing Tim Gunn and Team Fierce. C. Even one of my good friends and hairdresser can't make me feel better [left hair appt without the full treatment]

So now that I know that I'm not insane [it's only temporary] that wanting to kill co-workers and boyfriends actually has a reason I'm feeling a little LESS insane than I did 48 hours ago.

A friend and I talked about this recently, how as we get older the PMS has gotten worse. Mainly, it involves violent thoughts of punching people, running them over with our cars, screaming profanities at other people's bratty little kids throwing tantrums at lunch. Road rage has a WHOLE new meaning now. It's funny because if you asked anyone who knows me they would describe me as "apple pie sweet" and kind. So it's always a surprise to me and those in my path when Satan spews out of me like Linda Blair.

As I write this, I take pity to the people in my universe right now. I'm so sorry you have to witness the mental insanity that is ME at the moment. I can tell you that the aliens should be leaving my body in about another 48 hours or so and I'll attempt to stay away from the public as much as possible until that time arrives.

-The devil in Richie's body

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