Tuesday, January 19, 2010

"Do you feel guilty?" he asked me as we were lying in bed on Sunday Morning, "Guilty for being happy?" he said. We had just had another, in seemingly a string of phone calls the past few months, of families on the brink of disintegration.

I answered with almost no hesitation to this question, in fact I was a little perturbed if you want to know. Guilty? No, I don't feel guilty for being happy, I worked really hard to get here. I did my time in non-happy. A lot of time if you want to know. In fact, so did you... why would you feel guilty?

I don't know, he said, it just seems like we're doing so great and everyone else isn't. I clarify for him – we're not doing that great. I mean, we're both broke as hell - but we're happy if that lessens the guilt at all.

it's not the money, it doesn't matter how much money you have, it's never enough [he says this a lot by the way and he's right] you.spend.as.much.as.you.have. he says, it always works out to be that way.

It's true about the money thing and our happiness thing. We're swimming in goodness, I think, he and I. He has just a few months left in his residency. Our life together will finally begin under one roof. We're both getting a little excited for the future. But he's right. I do feel something every once in a while, like it's too good to be true and there are moments I find myself asking when is it going to blow up? I think horrible things about him being taken away from me in a horrid car crash or me falling down a flight of stairs cracking my head open to be a vegetable for the rest of my days. Something gotta give right? People don't get to be this HAPPY.

I think we're wrong. maybe. tell me it's this good. pinky swear.

And if I had all sorts of money? Maybe one of these fun finds over on Etsy. I'm kinda intrigued with the wares over on Artlab

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