My dear and very long time friend [J] this weekend had to put her beloved dog Miel to sleep. Putting a pet to sleep is probably one of the more difficult things to do aside from losing a loved one. This story involves both and why it's such a deep and resonating story to share.
J lost her husband 14 years ago to a motorcycle accident. A driver ran a red light and struck her husband in an intersection just yards from the entrance of her work. He had just left her, she had gone in to work on a client. As you might imagine losing your sweetheart in such an accident is life altering. Her life turned upside down. She never returned to work.
A puppy was given to her during the time following to ease her in her loss. She readily admits that she took all of her love, loss, and grief and poured it into caring for Miel. She spoke French to her [her husband was French], she traveled with her, went with her to her [new] work once she was able to do so. Miel was her companion far and above a normal dog relationship. Her whole life was about caring for her, not unlike a child, and lately a terminally ill parent.
The past few years, Miel has been ailing and all of us [her friends] have said to one another. "We are terrified for J when Miel finally goes". She. will. fall. apart. This loss will be both of her husband again, as well as her furry best friend.
I think perhaps her only blessing this time is that she could prepare herself, could move into it, not really with ease, but with acceptance. I believe The greatest of life lessons involve letting go. This is truly such a lesson.
The human mind & heart are amazing at it's resiliance don't you think? We are able to endure horrible loss and regenerate ourselves, or gather ourselves back up and begin again, Over and over. It always surprises me that we don't crumble and fall away. Yet, we get up [or lay there] stay in our PJ's, maybe turn off the phone, watch reruns of Oprah and Sex and the City and keep breathing.
This. I. find. amazing.
The outcome of this story is that J is doing well considering. But she knows that the loss itself isn't the hard part, it's the days following. She said to me "I have to figure out who I am" everything about me has been about caring for Miel. There-in lies the challenge. Who are we when the things we've been using to cover us up are removed? Who are you without your children? or sweetheart or your work? Do you know who you are?
I'm having a lot of big thoughts here today. So I think I'll just leave it at that. Hug your pet and your family big today.
this is not Miel but looks like her > via this person
1 comment:
What a good friend you are. I hope your friend finds her way through this. I, too, find it such a miracle that we are at once so fragile and so strong.
BTW, love the name Miel. I've always thought if I ever get a dog I want to name him Guimauve (French for marshmallow).
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