Since hitting 30 I've been doing something extravagant for my birthday each year. A couple of years it involved building pieces of jewelry for myself, sometimes a trip to New York, a personal trainer for a few weeks, one year I couldn't think of anything so I bought someone else a present who wanted it more.
This year I was suppose to go to Paris. The city I have romantic fantasies about. Not as in, being romantic with someone else, though that would be nice, but rather the city itself for being glamourous ect. It doesn't seem to be the right time though with the whole "I may or may not be out of a job rather soon" factor.
Last week I decided after discussing it with a few girlfriends that I'll be having a party for myself. I don't throw parties for myself if I have never mentioned. Call it party fear, call it self confidence issues I'm not sure but it just seems really self indulgent to me [I am happy to attend other's parties though which is the odd part] I've had friends attempt at throwing them for me [one a sad surprise party] and without going into details I'll just say that they were disasterous. I think it comes down to that my friends are scattered and diverse and that no one really has the list of folks to contact.
I might add the tale of the worse party had to be the one that a couple, who were having marriage problems, insisted on hosting my event at their home and the day of, the husband essentially broke the news that he wanted out. Oddly, they wanted to carry on with it though my friend couldn't stop crying. I put my foot down at that point, I called it off, phoned as many as I could and posted a note on their door saying it was cancelled.
This may explain some of my hesitation with birthday parties. I'm gonna give it one last try though on my own turf, of my own design, of my own attendant list so if this one is a giant failure then I'll just know that B-day events are not for me. Of course I'll be traumatized for the next ten years but who's counting.
So it's March which sounds like I have a lot of time [May is the event] but I don't if you think about it. Because it's me, and I have to letterpress an invite and I have to find someone to do food, and I have to replant the rooftop, and I have to loose 10 lbs or a size whichever comes first, I have to spruce up the house.... Kids, I've only got 10-12 weeks. This is not good.
So I'm off to torture myself with obsessions. Mostly, about the tire that seems to have landed around my midsection the past 3 weeks. It may require professional help [pilates] wish me luck in my endeavor.
Motel 40 > Lounge Listener
Ruta 40 via > Leo Regnier
BTW: This is my 601 posting. Which just seems like a whole lot to me.