Monday, February 18, 2008

Yoga pt. 2

It donned on me after my silly naked yoga story the other day that I don't believe that I have ever sung the praises of yoga here to all my friends. I'm sure you've all heard it before but yoga is amazing and if you are willing to put the time and energy into a practice it can heal you. Aside from my underdressed classmate it is an amazing practice.

It sounds like a big promise... healing but it does. I can't explain how it does what it just works. Healing means a lot of things and so I'll further explain it as physical, emotional and spiritual healing.

How I came to yoga is a multi-part story. I was in the process of divorcing my [now] ex-husband and was having chronic panic attacks. I couldn't breathe. Actually, I hadn't been breathing for some time but it had just got worse at this point in my life [I began carrying notes/taping them to my desk reminding me to breathe]. Without going into the messy details, my ex husband was a very sick man [diabetes] and I became the worrier, the caregiver, the beggar, the nagging wife. I sacrificed my mental and physical health in attempts to getting him well. As any person attempting to get a drug addict to behave, you will know that this won't work. Diabetes and his personality disorder were the equivaliant of dealing with a drug addict. I nearly killed myself trying to make him better. When I walked away I was broken down on all levels and very close to exhaustion and hospitalization. My accupunturist at the time said if she had not seen me in person the symptoms my body were giving were those of someone who was and elderly person. She and I were both worried.

I began yoga after spending months in bed resting. It took me that long to get myself back just functioning other than my office job. I went because I wanted Madonna's arms and I was bored. What happened there in that room, with my teacher amazed me. First, He taught me to breathe. Second, you can't do much in class but hold your pose and breathe which takes your brain and shuts it off-just for a little bit. In that 90 minutes I got to escape. I didn't have to think about my failure, how my life was a full disaster and how I didn't know how to date or be a woman in the world all at the age of 30. It was 90 min of emotional freedom.

Years into my practice I continue to have amazing transformations. I often have told people that your cells change, you change even if you get into it just for physical excercise. God [however you see Him] sets into your cells when you're not looking and transforms you. I'm not joking here and people who have been skeptical of this when I have said it, have come back later to me and confirmed this when they developed a practice. I don't go to church but I have felt closer to God in yoga than anywhere.

There are bigger, crazier stories of spiritual epiphanies that have transpired while I've been in classes but I won't go there. Even while recounting them to myself I sound crazy. I will say though that I have had sessions that have shaken me to the core emotionally. They don't happen often, but when I have asked for guidance and assistance during particularly difficult times it has come to me in those times of quiet. I'm convinced God and Spirit can only work in times of quiet and calm [dammit!]

I'm getting back to my practice after some time of being away [year+]. I stopped because I thought I didn't need it anymore that I was healed, I was busy, I chose the gym instead of what I know works. It's like a mentally ill person stopping their meds. "but I feel good, I don't need them anymore" yah you dumb-ass you feel good because of your meds. Hey, I'm a slow learner. It's taken me a while to figure this one out.

So there it is - my praise of yoga classes if you have been pondering taking some. If for some reason you want more information just comment and I'm happy to answer any questions about me and my experiences or just general yoga information.

[the light in me sees and acknowledges the light in you]


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