Friday, February 15, 2008

There is always one

There is always one person that f*ck's up the zen for the rest of us.

So I have practiced yoga now for over 9 years. I've done a variety of types Bikram [heated room 102 deg], Ashtanga [hard], general, power blah blah blah. Let me clarify that I'm not very good at it. It sounds like in 9 years I should be Madonna but mostly I'm super-stiff girl just trying to get through class.

I've settled into my practice of moderately paced classes with the instructor I have practiced with all of those 9 years, he is the most fitting to me and my body. His classes are pretty normal to say the least we work up a dew but it's not a sweaty class. Class room temp is in the 70's.

This other class member [guy] started coming to class a year or so ago and refuses to dress properly for class. If this was a Bikram class it would be fine to wear a European style bathing suit [little], no shirt. But it's not Bikram, it's 70 degrees.

So this guy inevitably ends up sitting next to me. I do my best to stay away from him when I can but he must know that his half dressed-ness bothers me. This is what I end up looking at or attempting not to look at while I move:

• Moderately chubby guy in super-short shorts. I hope to gawd they have lining but I have not had to witness any issues. I have though had to acknowledge that I can see his package [it's nothing to write home about]
• Hairy back
• Keeps his socks on [why would you be half dressed and keep your socks on ???]
• Again did I mention the super-short shorts?

I have tried to rationalize to myself why he might do this to all of us here's what I've pondered: 1. He use to practice Bikram and didn't know that class was not heated [quickly realized it didn't matter] 2. He's actually European [would be acceptable then]/ he is not. 3. He's a super-sweaty guy: He dresses normally coming in, sweaters, jackets etc. 4. He thinks he's hot [looking]-I can't verify. 5. He thinks he's in good shape, again can't verify.

Why is there always one girl with her underwear hanging out or the half dressed guy in class? It's really f*cking up my Zen people! I so wish there was an anonymous tip line for people like this...hey you! the guy in the short-shorts...yah're grossing everyone out put a gawd-damn shirt on and a pair of shorts so that we can't see what religion you are!

Happy Friday folks
keep yourself covered and keep your underwear inside your clothes where we can't see them.

[flickr image/naked yoga]


Elaine said...

As your neighbor Snoop-Dog would say, "I feel you." To be completely honest, I don't even want men in my yoga classes. It's fine for step-aerobics or kick-boxing but men who do yoga (I know this is going to be controversial) are generally extra hairy and gross. If I were you, I would talk to the instructor....or just straight up be a bitch. It's your Zen too, you know.

flow said...

omg - that's hilarious, but all in the same i feel your pain!!

i'm going to bikram yoga this weekend, my first time :)

beehive maiden said...

what!? yes, talk to your instructor! let him know you feel the guy's clothes are inappropriate and that they disturb you and ask him to please ask the guy to dress more modestly. the instructor doesn't even have to say that students are uncomfortable, he can just talk to the guy directly and briefly (no pun intended). good luck!