Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A perfect "Frienmy" treat

The bit of silence the past couple of days came from these lovely little bits of love. If you have a frienmy or Ex that you would like to "sock it to" this holiday season I have got the perfect thing. Sweethearts candy, the iconic candy for Valentine's Day has produced a sugar-free version this year. Upon finding it at Target Sunday morning I did a bit of the snoopy dance I was so happy.

If I haven't mentioned it before I'm a sugar FIEND. I avoid it now for health reasons and because I become "Oprah with a bag of potato chips" and don't stop till whatever is open is gone. I blame the obsessive-compulsive behavior on the drug and alcoholic folks in my family [sorry mom, mostly your side]. Peanut M&Ms are my heroin and I quit them a number of years ago.

Anyway back to my tale. So I buy the old 4 pack of Valentine sugar-free candies and skip to the register, I eat a box on the car ride home [pluuezze you know you would too]. Tummy gets a little grumbly but I had to do something that afternoon that was a little nerve wracking so I attributed it to that. I eat lunch, I do my nerve wracking thing, I eat another box of sugar free candies - I mean it's Sunday for Gawd sakes!

I can tell you...It was the second box that really sent me over the edge.

It lead to a late afternoon, evening and night of what could be the most horrific gas and explosive diarrhea of my life. No lie. I had to call in sick on Monday A.M it kept me up all night. I swear, these things should come with the same warning as Olestra and it's "anal leakage" side effect. I actually checked the remaining boxes after the fact for a disclaimer, none listed my friends.

I can highly recommend not eating them - just suck it up and eat the sugar, or purchase for a lovely Frienmy and watch the LOVE unfold.


alyson. said...

I'm so glad I picked lunch time to catch up on my blog reading. otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy this little ray of sunshine!

and I must say, I'm probably the only person who doesn't like Sweethearts. and I too, and I sugar freak.

Angeleen said...

Artificial sweeteners are BAAAAADDDD!!!

Judging by your reaction, I would be highly suspicious of the "new" sweetener, Xylitol. YUCK!

Anonymous said...

This was a hilarious post! Esp the part about you having to call in sick. This is the sugar-junkie's version of Antabuse!
And, btw, xylitol is supposed to be ok and all natural--they sell it at my uber-natural health store.

p.s. this is from SGM, I couldn't figure out how to sign in. Weird.