Monday, May 14, 2007
cupcake overload weekend
I reused my magnolia photo for this but it has been a cupcake overload weekend. Friends brought a couple dozen very expensive little nuggets over to a dinner party we had on saturday night for an early birthday celebration. Of course I ate 4 in a 2 day period. ugggh.
Thus far I have avoided my normal b-day depression that usually begins about Jan 3rd when I realize my birthday is looming, somehow this year it forgot to torment me for months on end but I feel it creeping in this week. As a favorite writer describes her depression...'it's like an old friend that flanks your side just when you thought it had gone away-it walks next to you reminding you what giant loser you are, it whispers in your ear when you're not looking just to see if you'll allow him in'.
What if I ignore it- if I pretend that I'm not listening to it? Like the homeless that I walk away from when they are begging for change on the street...[I always feel bad doing that] What would happen if I refuse to believe the horrible things the voice has to say to me? Perhaps that is the way to view it-it is the devil trying to creep into your mind and your heart. I'm doing karate chops this week to it... I'm not going down without a good fight. I'm not allowing a mear number to decide for me how I feel or decide my destiny [it's mostly about having children], I know that I'm stronger and bigger than something like that. I'll let you know who wins the wrestling match, my bets are high for myself at the moment.
Posted by Richie Designs at 7:20 AM