Monday, December 18, 2006

fighting myself

I read this over at Self Taught Girland thought how true that is.
I feel like I need to fight myself on a constant basis about what I should be doing and what feels right. Currently, it's about every 30 minutes or so reminding myself of what it felt like when I was back there [won't explain that one sorry]...and why I stepped out. I hate the inner battle. Attempting to live what's right instead of what I should do.

"Everyone speaks of living the unconscious, of the Self, of God, of inner wisdom, of following yourself and all that stuff. But when it comes down to it, we just don't trust ourselves or our perceptions enough, and we do not really follow our own processes. We do not value what we see, hear, feel, how we move, relate or experience the world. No wonder so many people always feel criticized and unloved! They hate their own perceptions, and thus do not follow themselves. They cannot follow their own individual processes, but instead program themselves until they can't stand it anymore."

--"Riding the Horse Backwards: Process Work in Theory and Practice" by Arnold and Amy Mindell

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