kidney love

It's been fairly regular around here for my kidney to be an asshole if you've been a reader of this site. Currently everything is fairly the same, no ER visits lately but I went to see my Homeopathic dr last week and I had a list of new complaints so he did his wacky magic he does and at the end said well it's not XYZ you have kidney stones.




Ok.

He gave me a pad of paper and said write this recipe down:

The Kidney Stone Dissolve

one six pack of regular Classic Coke [no substitutions]
Open all six and let them go flat
Drink all six within a 2 hour period of time

after completing that, steam a handful of asparagus and eat it.

Um....OK that's a bit random can you explain?
He said that classic coke has just the right amount of phosphorous acid but only works when it's flat but you need the amount that is present in all 6 cans. The acid will breakdown the kidney stones. After that the asparagus acts as a diuretic and washes the soda out of the kidneys.

I'm on can 2...the breakfast of champions


please note I'm not a doctor, I don't make any claims. You should consult your own health care people before trying anything.