Falling on my face and other ways I embarrass myself

Why is it that you guys only love me & comment when I write about PMS and mortification? FINE! I guess I'll give you more of what you want and forget about all this fluff and the 'hard journalism' I keep attempting. Here's another story of mortification to keep you motivated to come back and visit me you stinkers.

If you asked my closest friends and boyfriend to pick a scene from a movie that illustrates who I am, they would choose two. The scene from Miss Congeniality when she trips, looking all cute and does a major face plant, and the second would be the scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding when she forgets she has her headset on [in the travel agency] and stands up ripping her head backwards and sends her to the ground.

I lack grace sometimes. Usually at the most important times of my life. I have the ability to fall over invisible things, trip over my feet and fly through the air like I'm playing some comedy scene from a movie. In the first month that I dated my boyfriend I think I face planted 3 times. I often end up in a gutter without alcohol. Here's another great moment in the "richie chronicles" in ways to embarrass myself:

So I know Jesse, the guy married to Sandra Bullock. I've known him for years, even when he went by his real name which is Greg [Jesse is the middle, and yes, he's related somehow] and married to his first wife. At one point just before he hit really big with his Discovery Channel show and then onto Monster Garage, my office helped produce his first real brochure for West Coast Choppers. It was great fun working with him. He's so good at what he does, and has the best stories to tell.

Anyway, even though I've known him for some time prior to his fame, he's a big presence, can be intimidating but somehow he was always very nice to me probably because he knew I don't have thick enough skin to handle it. This particular day, I was in need of some answers to details involving the brochure and he was filming the first movie with the Discovery Channel people. He had to take one of his bikes down the way to shoot something with them so he was on it, the motor was on and I had to lean in to yell over the chopper roar to ask my question.

My inopportune loss of grace happened at that lovely moment.

I leaned in and lost my footing on a pebble or something then proceeded to just fall for really no good reason, in the middle of the street, in front of Jesse, in front of the film crew. Like a friggin cartoon, papers went flying- I went flying. I think he said something to me like "what the f*ck just happened?" and "are you ok?" Oh yes, I'm fine...mortified...but fine. In a "crash helmet" sort of way.

I know you all will wonder. No, I haven't met Sandy, but I've heard she's really THAT nice. I've never heard a bad word said about her. Our work with Jesse stopped after that project and then he got big, famous and really busy so I haven't talked to him for years. One of my girlfriends works for him now and as expected he's kicking butt and taking names. So there you have it... rockin' in the LBC crash helmet and all.