Something Fine

I read a post by a fashion blogger last week asking the question if the so-called "right hand ring" was an advertising gimmick to get women to buy diamonds. Is it advertising-of course but is it wrong? I don't think so. I've been buying my own 'right hand rings' since I turned 30 and was divorcing my ex-husband.

The thing that lead me there was that, sadly, the only thing I missed about my marriage were the comfort of my rings, the security they brought me out in the world. So I bought myself a little gold band with tiny diamonds. It was the prize for surviving all of it. Later after I thought about the demise of my marriage [there really wasn't one to begin with] it started with wanting those rings. I decided then that I would buy my own diamonds. I didn't want a piece of jewelry to be what prompted my decisions.

Since then I've built 2 more rings/and purchased another for myself. Surprisingly, they were both at times that I felt like I wanted to be married and I wanted to take the jewelry out of the equation to see if it was really what I wanted. The men I was with I don't think knew why I was building them but I knew that if I took it out of the equation that it would settle the want I was having without going down a path I knew wasn't right. I've often said I've married myself with those rings and I have, because each time it lead me back to the truth rather than where I thought I should be.

My very favorite jeweler just launched their first website recently and featured a version of the first ring I designed and built with them [they later altered and used the design in their collection]. I'm very proud of it and I have people stop me all the time to ask me about the ring. I have to admit I borrowed a few designs from another designer I admire to build it. I was resetting some gems my mom had given me at the time I graduated from high school--it's much more me now.

I'm all in favor of buying your own diamonds especially if you’re single. Each time you look at the pieces you purchased you remember who you were then and where you've grown to be. If I continue on this path, I joked with my jeweler, that I'd be one of those crazy old ladies at the grocery- ring on each finger, wearing her fur in the frozen food isle with her house slippers. I'm not so sure it won't happen that way.

Another reason to buy... if I had held my breath until a man bought me diamonds of any sort, I would be dead by now [even the wedding ring was a family hand-me-down/not an heirloom either]. The first time I received jewelry from a man wasn't until last year at 36. Far too long if you ask me, to wait for a diamond.